Supporting your middle or high school student’s investment in your search for a right-fit school is important in terms of both the experience your family has with the process and the ultimate result.  

When searching for schools for younger children, parents drive the bus. You are the adult in the process — an advocate for your child. You partner with preschool teachers and other important adults in your child’s life to bolster your view of your child as a learner. You tour schools that seem to fit your child’s learning profile and feel right for your family. And then, when all is said and done, you decide where your child will continue their educational journey. 

The search for a right-fit school for your middle or high school student is different, and involving your child in the process is critical. By inviting them to actively participate in the search and in making the final decision, you ensure they are invested in their education, which typically  leads to higher motivation, better academic performance, and a smoother transition. 

Allowing teenagers to have a voice in their education empowers them at an important stage of their development. It reduces feelings of powerlessness, eases the friction that can develop between parents and teens as they seek greater autonomy, and fosters essential life skills like decision-making and ownership of their learning. Additionally, middle and high school admissions directors are looking for students who demonstrate a clear investment in their own education and a strong, personal interest in the specific schools to which they are applying. 

Involving your older child in the school search process also takes into account their valuable insight into their needs, as they reflect on what has and hasn’t worked for them academically and socially in the past and on their goals for the future. High school students, in particular, are more likely to thrive in environments they have chosen. And your expectation of their involvement reflects your faith in them as they responsibly and maturely build autonomy.  

Tips on how to include your middle or high school student:

• Ask questions: ask your child what they love about their current school, what they wish it had, and what they would like to pursue in a new school.
• Tour schools together: use tours to compare school offerings, discuss preferences, and evaluate school culture.
• Schedule "shadow days": if possible, arrange for your child to spend a day at a prospective school to experience the social and academic environment firsthand.
• Focus on priorities: guide your child to look beyond just where their friends are going and encourage them to think about what will best serve them, focusing on academic programs, co-curricular activities, and overall fit.
• Encourage early planning: start researching and preparing for standardized tests and application essays. 
• Schedule regular time to check in with your child about the process — how they’re feeling as well as tasks that need to be completed. This helps to ensure they are taking a strong role, while avoiding the friction that can develop when teens feel hovered over.

Partnering with your older child  in your school search and allowing them to take on an appropriate amount of responsibility in the process not only bodes well for future success, it can also be a wonderful bonding experience as you explore and analyze together! 

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